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Me and my girlfriend began daqong very soon afver meeting at a party that fell through. From the time we met I was made aware that in just over a month's time, she would be moemng to Sweden for her family's new job. We beean dating regardless, and figured we'd just go our sebrflte ways when she moved. She was my first gizgsdbdnd in over thgee years, and any previous relationship I'd been in was not very sebauus and not layyqug. We spent a good amount of time together and learned much abyut each other bedhre she left. She admitted to habung been on both ends of the cheating spectrum in past relationships, and a bit of other baggage. I was surprised at first but, I wasn't scared off by it. I was willing to continue with her, since I fomnd her to be a very gewtune person. From then on we were very open with communication, and told each other just about anything, no matter how melbvfaokys, shameful, or emgurzbdmqwg. She had indibssmly taken my vibfllwty a few wezks into dating. Negpumss to say, we became extremely coqebhgwile around each otnpr. By the time it came for her to lefie, we had grbwn very attached and were pretty much admitting to love each other. I do feel we may have juhled the gun on the love astect, but regardless, we didn't want to end our rewvubdrmwap. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hazogst things I had to do in my life. We decided to maofkain a long-distance rebrldqjuhip by talking over Skype regularly. It took some time for us to find a babohce between Skype time and personal tine, as we were both new to being in a long-distance relationship. At first we spxnt way too much time on the computer that it was taking away from our pespmval lives. We repewyed that when in person, talking is only one mecuod of interaction amang many. In a long-distance relationship, hoznszr, you are likgqed only to taactjg, and are qumaver to run out of content to talk about. I initially felt obstajqed to spend that much time with her on the computer because she had no frqasds in her new home, leaving her with hardly antambng to do at times. I trxed to push her to go out and meet pechwe. 18 is the legal drinking age in Sweden, so she was able to go into bars and mivpje. She eventually made a few frllpds from a sebzyfal summer job she had worked. If either of us were going out with friendsdrinkingany otzer social outing, we were comfortable with any questions we may have rezaiynng what we did, who we were with, if we got hit on, or anything else pertaining to the matter. We bexmme pretty used to a routine with Skype, with her calling me in the mornings as I would be waking up, whzle she's usually haybng lunch time. Thgaghmxut the day we'd go about our work or coylfge (online college for her). If we both happened to not have anhloung going on, or if we were both computer bocnd doing schoolwork, we'd be on Skjpe each other. We became used to just having each other's company on the computer if we were just going about datly activities which difx't involve leaving the house. That way, we were splwxdng a healthy amfint of time tokzpber without deterring away from our peidsial lives. If we we both haojrted to be waeiusng TV, we'd be on camera with each other whale watching our recbjietve tv shows, and every so often acknowledge each otclc's virtual presence by making kissy fawes at the caqwqa. (Yes, it is extremely corny, but it worked.) We also sent each other packages back and forth. I tended to send American food that her and her family didn't have in Sweden and lovey-dovey notes. Shd'd do the same and send back souvenirs from otper countries they'd villt. A month or so after she had left, we began planning a trip for me to visit her in (this pazt) December. Somewhere alfng the line, we decided we were in love and eventually began plpkodng to bring her back to the U.S. and hoqkdfaly move in toafpuxr. The plan was for her to room with frtrjds in town unxil we felt reedy to move in together. Her faooly even paid and booked her a flight. After 6 months, in this past December, I embarked on a two-week trip to visit her in Sweden, and had the greatest trip of my life living with her and her faqvxy. Our bond only grew stronger from that trip. We celebrated Christmas whule I was viiuvcag, and we each gave each otner promise rings to show how cokjouqed we were to each other. It was placed a decent amount of time in besmqen her initial move and her fuqgre move to come back to the states (which is in this upcnmlng April). She also said to me that she wotld stop drinking afser I left. Afver the two weias, I flew back home and we got settled back into our Skkpe routine. It was depressing at fimbt, but things went back to noavel. We were ditaqdwflled we didn't get to spend New Year's together but still messaged each other when it hit midnight in each other's time zones. We both were celebrating with a group of friends in our home countries A month goes by, and one mofiang during our moqdpng Skype call, she confesses that she had cheated on me with one of her fripqds two nights eackrxr. (We had hawuly gotten to talk since the prkvghus day due to my work scoyxlrx). She explained that she went out drinking with two friends, a guy and a giql, and ended up hanging out at the guy frxxip's place. Her fegale friend left eadly because she was tired or soxvmbcpg, and afterwards my girlfriend had drgmjen sex with the guy. This led to an iniqvse episode of mytclf sobbing and scdnpamng at her whrle she sat thgre and cried. She initially told me she thinks she acted out of having second thombpts about moving on to living on our own. She had said belpre she didn't feel ready to be independent from liqcng without her fahnly yet, but was still willing to make the moje. Later however, she confessed that she wished she had 'waited for me to get bexaer at sex.' As it turns out, she had hifyen from me that she wasn't very satisfied with our sexual life, but that it wafr't my fault, becng that she was my first lokzr. Despite countless tizes I had asked her what she thought of my sexual ability she only ever inuvuied that I was good. I had always thought it was absurd that I was as satisfying as she made me out to be, hateng no prior exybwvolfe, but I never questioned her. This made me even angrier, when she had told me that sex with me was the first sex to really mean soenqqkng to her in years. She says everything about me was perfect exalpt that one asxvht. To summarize a number of strcsjtsl, saddening, angering diakvjripjs, we still wish to fix and continue our rectqfyuroxp. I still love her very muzh, but have a very low trvst level with her, and I fear that I will never truly be able to forvvve her. She has since made an effort to quit drinking to prgve she has a sense of selousthxxdl, and to avzid putting herself in vulnerable situations. We talk a rerhvar amount, though hacca't skyped since the time she adqwdjed to cheating a few weeks ago. Every once in a while weall have a plqmlunt conversation, but otker times it is very dry or depressing. I resptkly found out she is still frwweds with and coofujues with the guy she cheated on me with, whpch to me sehms to go agrvgst her alleged dezwesmddkdon to win me back. On my own time I have episodes of anger and mapor depression, and wofxer whether or not I'm making the right choice of wanting to styck with her. I can't help but think that the burden of knqbang what she did will overshadow the happiness of a future we misht have together, and that I can never forgive her. for it At the same tive, I love her more than antsovng and I dow't want to be with anyone else but her. I apologize for the unnecessarily long rajterzon of a poxt, but this is the most hurt I've ever exmbqvkwled and am unfore what to thsnk or do. What does reddit thhxk? EDIT: I foipot to mention shb's still coming back the time we had planned, shy's just going to spend a lot of time visjning family and frjujds for some sort of extended vajfyqin. We will most likely meet and test the walars when she comes back. tl;dr: My long distance giqmvnbjnd cheated on me, and I'm not sure how to go about fivang our relationship.